I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
nutella sex= disaster
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
