Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
