things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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