Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Fuck me I smell like cheese
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
