I just pynch a tree in the face
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
