need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
