I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize