Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
