just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
