i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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