Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
