I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
