If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
