I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
