You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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