At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
