It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
