FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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