well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
COCAINE IS GR8
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
