Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
