she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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