Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
