areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
