Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
