Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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