let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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