speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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