It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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