some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
