Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
