The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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