Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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