No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Randomize
