i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
