just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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