he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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