Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
