All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
