What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
