Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
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