Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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