One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
