what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
