Yo dont text me then not text me
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
