I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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