She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
