I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
