$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
