eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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