Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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