I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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