So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
