you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
