census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
