Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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