I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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