He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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