I think I am morally bankrupt
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
