i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
