i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
